Simple ways to start a conversation

Too often, we're no longer used to having face to face conversations anymore. Some people think of it as a waste of time while others find it difficult to do because they prefer virtual communication - talking over the phone, chatting online, or messaging through texts. As a result, this makes it difficult for most people to engage in small talk. Some also become hesitant because of the fear of rejection. :(

It's sad but true. Still, there are lots of ways to overcome this fear and engage in real conversation.

This is what we want to help you with today! Let's get through this fear and never struggle in making small talk again. 

Before anything else, put your phone into silent mode or put it face down. Do it! (Or don't, if you're reading this on your phone.) Just try to avoid notifications and those fun apps for now.

Whether you've run into someone at a warehouse sale or a coffee shop, you can use these conversation starters to begin a little chat with them.

How? Just smile genuinely and say 'hi'! This sounds simple but people are too used to starting at their phones that a simple smile and a hello can be a very bold move.

This shows a person that you've noticed them and you're interested in getting to know them better. And you'll almost always get a hello back. If you don't, that's fine. What matters is that you took the effort to do so.

The people who are good at these often become doubtful because of the possibility that they're doing it to take advantage of you. Admit it or not, that happens. Sometimes it's difficult for us to trust that their compliments are sincere. 

But there are also admirable people who naturally have genuine appreciation about almost anything! These kinds of people are who we aspire and want to be. Instead of complimenting something too obvious or just doing it to get something, think of something about the person that you feel thankful for. Compliment something that's worth complimenting, no matter how little it may seem. It can be their work, their personality, or just their cute collection of teddy bears. This will boost your likability towards others and in turn, they'll start looking for good things about you, too. 

Asking for help or offering help are great conversation starters. Think of how many movies had these sort of situations as opening scenes (aside from those who meet by accident)! When you help another person figure out what item is on the second rack or when you help them locate the restroom, it lowers your defenses and it makes you look easy to approach.

This is some sort of trial and error. Sometimes, you're in luck and you have something similar with strangers, but sometimes you don't. We recommend that you observe the person first or ask questions to find out what that interest is.

For example, you may be new at work and you'll notice that one of your colleagues loves warm coffee instead of hot. Then you'll also realize you love warm coffee! Tada! Do you see where we're going with?

The littlest shared interests can be a topic for your next conversation.

"Are you enjoying this party?" They may laugh at your question or give you an honest answer, which we think is an effective way to put down the wall. Showing your interest in the other person's thoughts while soliciting insightful information can be fun.

You just have to be careful with the kind of information you're asking for, because this is when you'll learn of your differences. In some work places, the orientation often informs new employees to make sure they don't discuss salaries, basketball teams, or political stands with other employees because that's where conflicts can begin.

Be careful and tactful always!

Jokes work well because they are disarming you on a biological level. If they laugh at your joke, you now have an assurance that you've gained a level of comfort with another person. If they don't laugh, it's still an opening for more conversation.

Similar with the previous item, make sure your joke isn't culturally or personally offensive. That can stop the good flow of the conversation pretty quick.

Share or make a comment about something big in pop culture that most people would be familiar with. This could be a trending topic on Twitter, a recently-released music video, or a viral post.

Just be light! Nothing political and refrain from being offensive.

Most people enjoy trivia, facts, and riddles. These are also good ways of keeping the conversation going over an extended period of time. Think and share a trivia or ask a riddle -- they'll be thinking about it and they'll remember you because of it!

We're pretty sure you're familiar with this form, so we might as well pick something out of it! Asking someone "where are you from?" is a great way to begin a conversation. There is no right or wrong answer. It can even become more interesting when you both realize you're from the same place or you have the same age, same school, same organization, same religion or so on!

Sometimes, the quickest way to make another person comfortable with you is to sort-of express how vulnerable you are. For example, if you're at a cocktail party, you can tell the person next to you "I don't know a soul here. It's so difficult to talk to strangers." That person most likely feels the same way and they'll appreciate your honesty. Through this, you'll be instantly connected!

It's a simple social truth: being happy makes others more interested in being around you. Try starting a conversation by expressing a pleasant emotion, like pointing out what a beautiful night it is. You can also just mention the good side in the situation you're in. 

We think that this is the main ingredient when starting small talk. Try this as you greet a familiar face and observe their reactions. A smile can boost your likability, lessen social anxiety, and increase the chances of a positive conversation before you even say a word.

But don't be creepy!

We are all familiar with the communication model -- how one message can travel and how we should highlight the importance of feedback. 

Show the other person how you genuinely care about what he/she has to say. Use 'tell me more' instead of 'okay' or 'that's great'. Encourage elaboration and be ready to respond, but resist the temptation of hijacking the conversation paraphrase 'I know', 'I've got this', or 'let's talk about me'. 

Give them the freedom to share something without you interrupting them. Remember, everyone you will ever meet knows something you don't. 

In turn, you should also be noticeable of some cues. For example, they might keep looking at their watch which may tell you that they're rushing to be somewhere, or they have to go but they don't want to seem rude to you. Don't keep them in a conversation when they're off somewhere or if they're talking to someone else. If you try so hard to keep them in, next time they might really avoid talking to you. 

They key is to be mindful of the person you're talking to.

Calm down! Social anxiety is normal and it's not impossible to overcome. You just need to put an effort to do it!

Nobody wants to feel alone or left behind so we highly suggest that next time you need to interact, remember these tips! It will not only boost your mood, but they will open your mind, too. :)

Are you ready to try these? Let us know how it goes!